Lies, Damned Lies, and Personal Ads

I'm not really all that interesting of a person, maybe a bit more exciting then some people but by no means spectacular. You aren't really that special yourself though. I don't really mind that, whatever, everyone is pretty boring, I just wish everyone would stop lying about it. Oh, your interests include kayaking, hiking, and travelling? Well my interests include driving expensive cars, being a ninja, and jet skiing around while sipping on hennesy from my diamond encrusted pimp cup. I don't mean to say that I actaully do any of these, I just think about them a lot when I'm sitting around and getting drunk while eating chinese takeout, which is what I assume you mean as well. Do you want a guy who is "serious" and who won't "play any games"? Too bad bitch cause I play monopoly like a mother fucker, all day everyday. I'll have a hotel on boardwalk before your slow ass even passes go. Don't even get me started on candyland. So basically I'm not a 7 foot tall succesfull buisness man with a brand new porsche, but you aren't a beautiful athletic model with a degree in medicine so I think we're about even. Lets get coffee some time if you aren't offended by a healthy dose of the truth.

Everybody knows

Hi there, I'm looking for a nice girl ages 18-26 for a long term relationship. I figure we could go out on a few dates and see if we click. I'm 23 years old, currently in college, a movie buff, and I occasionaly think about what it would be like to have sex with another man. I'm not gay but I've always been curious of what it would be like. There is a guy at work I talk to sometimes who is bisexual and sometimes I think about taking him into the backroom and kissing him. I also really like music, some of my favorite bands are Bob Dylan, The Who, and The Shins. Some of my hobbies are biking around town, having a few drinks with friends, and pretending that I'm the last person on earth. I just lay down on the floor and pretend that everyone else is gone, maybe in a nuclear holoucast or something. It makes me feel sad and hopeless but also very calm.

I've never written one of these things before and maybe I'm being too personal when I talk about how when my mother was on her deathbed I just kept wishing it would end soon so I could get back to my life, or how I cry at the end of American Beauty no matter how many times I see it but I couldn't bring myself to feel sad at her funeral. Maybe it's inappropriate to tell a group of strangers over the internet about how I sometimes think about someone else when I'm having sex, even if I'm with someone I truly care about I can't help it and it makes me feel like shit but I just can't help it. Maybe it's too personal to talk about these things on an internet dating site, but I'd rather risk acting like a fool in front of everyone then write one of these copy-paste ads, presenting myself the same way I do when I'm applying for a job, so boring and sterile and sane. I'm a normal person, I really am, I just want to be able to share every part of me. I want to tell you all the things we aren't supposed to say, but more importantly, I want you to tell me.